Out with the old-In with the new

Last week we traveled to Virginia/Tennessee for my Grandmothers funeral. She battled cancer for 2 years. She is no longer suffering but home with Jesus!!! Will I miss her, of course but as a dear lady said once "don't pray me out of Heaven". My cousin Bryan officiated the service and spoke of knowing Christ just as my Grandma wanted. One of the first things she asked me each time we spoke was "are you still going to church, loving God, taking your babies to learn about God". Her body was old, decaying, dieing, BUT she is alive, new in Christ. Oh how happy I am that she knew Jesus and loved him.

Just this morning I received 3 text messaged before I even woke up. A man from our church lost his short battle with cancer. Not very old and you would never have even known he was sick for a while. Riding his motorcycle with his wife and daughter, playing around with all the kids at church. We watched his body deteriorate little by little attempting to come to church then having to leave in the middle of service. I prayed, we all prayed for God to heal his body and rid it of cancer. Just because he didn't answer our prayers the way we hoped doesn't mean he didn't at all. This man in healed now. His purpose and time on earth was done according to Gods will and God said "come home my child". We will mourn but also rejoice!

A passage that a friend shared on facebook was of great comfort this morning:

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Life right now

I have so many pictures and so many posts in "edit" mode...one day I might get to them. I had planned on posting a Mother's Day post about things I wish I could tell my mother, then our whole house got sick. Not easy on this pregnant Mama. And 2 days ago I received a call from my uncle about my grandmother.

My mom was her only daughter out of 7 and I am my moms only daughter.Grandma, my mom, and I had a connection and I get my stubbornness from both of them :) When my mom passed away 12 yrs ago, my grandma looked to me as "her daughter". I spent many, many summers with my grandparents in Florida. When my grandpa died a couple years ago and I went down, I was the one who could tell grandma what to do. "Sit down grandma , your doing too much" - "grandma, you need to eat breakfast, I made this for you and you are going to eat it". Her sons stayed at a hotel to spend time together and I (and my aunt) stayed with her to make sure she was ok. I enjoyed it!!!

Grandma was diagnosed with cancer (several places) over a year ago. She chose to have some treatments and was taken off of them when it was discovered that they were only making her sick, not helping. Last week she was in the hospital and when my uncle called, I was told that she is home on hospice care. She is at the very end of her life. I am sad, sad that I didn't call her more over the last year, sad that I didn't try harder to get down to see her. Life for us has been busy but that's not why. Money was a factor in flying down $500-$900 for a plane ticket (are you kidding me?). I didn't call because I didn't want to face loosing another "mom". It's hard and after dealing with both my parents and a set of grandparents dieing within year of each other, I have a hard time dealing with any death.  I could barely hold it together enough to talk with her for 5 minutes last night.

She will be brought back to Virginia (I think) for the funeral and I assume laid to rest next to my mother. We are hoping to travel down but who knows if we can work it out. It would be nice to see my brothers and the rest of the family. Right now I am just trying to process it all, to keep up with my responsibilities here at home and pray that she goes in peace!